In Your Skin (Gamejam)

Okayyy, so I managed to collect 2 of the Good Endings so here are my thoughts (I'm sure there is much more to the story, and honestly I'm curious on this Frankenstein take, but I couldn't get into it as much as I tried due the issues I faced). Since this is your first VN (I assume since you said that you're new to this) it explains some parts however the overall plot was intriguing and curious. 

Below are just my personal thoughts and opinions, I'm not an expert nor have I created any games/VNs but I have played my fair share so I'm hoping to shed a little light on them. You can take them with a grain of salt, as long as you're able to practice more!

• One of my main gripes was the many choices yet lack of narrative. There were a lot of choices to be made at the very start yet not a lot of story was given in-between them, making it tedious having to go through them (especially where I would religiously save and load). It would probably be best to decrease the choices (and instead have them be actions within the dialogue/narrative).
• Incidentally because of the many choices made, there was little descriptive text explaining what was happening, especially since you weren't able to add images (and even then, further adding description helps to make the scene much bigger than what the background art can show) but since you had time constraints it would be understandable that you wouldn't have time for it. But because of that, I had a hard time visualizing what was going on, making it difficult to follow along with the story, and made me lose the immersion of what was going on as I didn't know the basic elements such as the setting, introduction, plot relevance, and so on since little information was given.
• This might just be a me thing since I'm used to reading in a story format despite it being a VN, but I also find that the lack of describing MC's own feelings and thoughts made the MC feel bland and nothing, it was also a bit difficult to discern who was talking since they both (Dr. Marion) had no distinct voice (again, this is a nitpick so you don't have to take this seriously).
• And finally, just like the previous commenter A Rook stares says, the game page is lacking. There should be, at the very least, the most basic explanation of your story so that people know what they're getting yourself into (even with the warnings) since people want to learn more of what they're getting themselves into. 
  • Some of the things that could benefit from it would be a Feature list where you list down how many endings there are (you can specify how many good and bad endings), play time length, interesting things about the VN, the goals of MC, and so on. 
  • You don't need any images on the side bar since it's wholly unfinished, but it still is important to have more information.

That's all I can think off of the top of my head, please note that this isn't meant to mock you or anything, instead these are what I personally felt and thought as I continued on playing the VN. Hope things improve and am looking forward to it!

I enjoyed it so far. I heard that you will update the game and i'm curious to see where it will go

I would also recommend giving more information on what this game is about on your game page kinda like an introduction. Because in my case i wasn't even sure what this game will be like because warnings are not really telling of the story overall and maybe some other people feel the same. I think more people will play it once they kinda know what this story (without spoilers) obviously is about! Oh talking about game page i dunno if that's a word play but it's "Minors" not Minours no hate tho!

Either way i will check out the updates and good luck ^^

I'm really liking this so far! I haven't completed enough of the game to get an understanding of the story that well, but I am very interested in playing more and understanding further. I'm really liking this plot. I do hope, though, that there is better pace in the end of the Blissful Ignorance route (the one I've completed so far). Nonetheless, I hope you do publish the different version. This would be even greater given more time. Great job! Thank you for sharing your work.